How to talk to women

Neon pink dresses, white lace tops, green colored pants, a shiny new cherry lip gloss, a new shade of orange lipstick, or matching dangling earrings- what shall I buy? shop shop shop.  I went to a store today to see if I could find a new bright blazer fit for work in the summer but couldn’t find it there, so I left without buying anything.  People say that I shop with a purpose, or that I “shop like a man”. I am one of the few almost extinct species of women who actually dislike shopping. 

Today, I came across the following article from a blog posted by friends on facebook, “How to talk to little girls”. http://girlsinreallife.wordpress.com/2013/06/03/latina-fatale-how-to-talk-to-little-girls/

It talks about the pressure that young girls face in our society to look pretty or beautiful.  It also goes through a dialogue between the author and a young girl about books instead of looks. 

As a young professional female living in NYC, I have been part of several conversations about the right makeup, the right skin product, hair salon, manicures, pedicures, the right summer sandals, the best spring nail color, or the right highlights. Sometimes I engage in these conversations willingly and at other times I feel like a forced participant.  I have recently taken note of the number of conversations with women that deal with looks, clothes, or shopping.  The conversations have gotten to a point where I have blaringly declared that I despise shopping to the shock and awe of others.  How could someone living in the shopping and fashion capital of the world dislike the very activity that supports its culture?

We are told that no matter how we look, we will never be “perfect”. We will never be like the airbrushed images glaring at us from fashion magazines or the scantily clad women displayed in the storefronts.  It is a culture built upon looks, from TV shows to the corporate offices.

 Since I am a thin person, I have not been told that I need to change my weight; I am a mere 105 lbs for my 5’3” frame.  I should technically be considered underweight. Since size 0 is apparently considered a “good” standard to achieve for model thin looks in the west, the “comments” and “feedback” I receive have shifted to other areas of my appearance: have I tried hair relaxers, have I tried waxing my face, have I tried dermabrasion, have I tried getting more frequent manicures, or have I tried getting a new haircut? The list goes on and on. 

For any woman who thinks she is fine and confident with the way she looks, it is not her who determines her worth; society somehow attempts to undermine that by saying that she could be better looking or “perfect”.  No woman is perfect on the outside and we should never try to attain that mirage of “perfection”.  Otherwise, we will be a flawed creature forever in our eyes trying to achieve a visual perfection that never exists.